-Sorry, but with you looking so conservative and all I thought I should ask because we're having shots at the party and I don't want to offend you.
While I was scrambling for an answer ranging from "I'll drink you under the table woman !",(with a thick Russian accent) or a squeaky condescending ; "shots... pudding shots...I'll check our schedule and let you know if we can stop by.... but.... it doesn't look good" it hit me! I'm having a midlife/identity/do I even drink? crisis brought on by a simple question.Yes I could drink straight gin for a night or try all the cocktails on the menu in the bar where my best friend worked as a bartender and still carry on a conversation I can remember ,but in the last seven years I drank the equivalent of one glass of vine a month and most of that was one Brighton pub crawl.
I don't drink.
I don't smoke.
I don't smoke pot.
My hair is one color.
I buy nice clothes in the same shades of grey ,black ,brown and white.I have one orange scarf.
I am conservative.I like gogol bordello shirts because they are irreverent and funny but I would not wear one on the street.I like Carlin but I watch him with headphones so my daughter doesn't hear it.I listen to my music only when I'm alone .So who am I? I changed so much that truly I have no idea.Does it help my child or my husband that I changed for them? My child told me I'm no fun and it might be true.I'm putting makeup on,I have an agenda and I run errands I take my child to private school and politely listen to conversations about the beauty of Friday mass.I don't even know what that is ,and a few years back I would just point at my t shirt and the woman would sprinkle me with holy water but now I'm smiling in my impeccable white shirt and I tune her out.
There's a fuzz on my brain ,how do people ,normal ,happy looking people have fun? Can't even watch a rated R movie in my own home.The art movies I love give nightmares to grown ups.
Today I convinced a hairdresser that she can dye my hair black because I just LOOK conservative.I might even know what emo is.
I might be buying a sports car next.
Here's my picture in a conservative before and after layout.And don't tell me I'm shallow, just think about it.What or who defines who you end up being is such a random fickle thing.
1 comments:
Ok, in the FIRST photo, with the roses? You DEFINITELY needed a shave- but you look flawlessly gorgeous in the second one. And, as one who sees you as a kindred spirit, I resent the implication that you are any less than absolutely cool, you are super cool! :-)
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